Who’s On Phirst

Working at a small software company like Phurnace is kind of like surfing. Well, actually, - since I have never surfed - it’s kind of like what I imagine surfing to be like. You are either on top of the world or at the bottom of the ocean, and you spend very little time in between. When Robert and I first started full time with Phurnace, I was only as good as my last meeting. If the meeting had gone well, then I was convinced that our success was all but inevitable. If the meeting went poorly, then I was crushed. Sometimes I would feel both ways in the same day - or the same hour. The ups and downs were extremely hard to deal with – and if I were to be honest, they still are.

Now, before everyone starts in on how much of an emotional weakling I am (which may indeed be the case), keep in mind that it’s not just me who has had these feelings. I have talked to a lot of people who have done similar things and feel that same way. So, either this is a common experience, or I hang out with a bunch of wimps. Take your pick.

Over the years I have found a few ways to deal with this. One is just to become numb to it and be cynical about everything. Another is to go all Mr. Spock and just try to deal with it as everything as analytically as you can. Both of those can work at times, and I’ve used them to good effect.

But you know, I think that kind of misses the point about working at a small company (and especially a software company). And that point is that it is suppose to be fun. It’s supposed to be exciting. And, while the downward plummet to the abyss can be quite terrifying, ultimately it will be those times that destruction looked the most certain but was somehow avoided that will be the most poignant, and the best remembered. The trick is to be able to enjoy the downslides as much as the upswings; to be able to laugh at both of them - whether gleefully or manically.